How did I Learn to Love

There are lots of things that I needed to understand about relationships and romance. Very few of them are taught to us in school or at home! Here are some of the more common things that I learned. Most teenagers begin their romantic lives with a series of crushes. Crushes are sort of easy entry-ways into the world of strong emotions and relationships, without having much of the scary risk involved in really dating someone. Also, I learned how to handle feelings. A crush is about learning that I get POWERFUL emotions in relationships - and that I need to deal with them. Just like learned in earlier years how to deal with strong anger and strong sadness, I learned how to deal with strong feelings of attraction.

Teenagers (and adults too) often get caught up in the "What She/he Looks Like" mentality, fueled strongly by the fashion industry and MTV. It's easy to chase after someone just because their hair is cool or their body is buff. But as much as those lustful reasons might seem great at first, one of the strong lessons that life teaches is that beauty is skin deep, and living with a beautiful-but-poorly-matched person can bring a lot of misery and heartache.

We live in a world where everything can be measured. Our scales give us our weight down to the tenth of a pound. The weather forecasters know the exact temperature. It's no wonder that we want some sort of a chart to use that says for sure "This is not love" and "this is love". Unfortunately for lovers, emotions are not an exact science.

Love is not a crush - love involves someone you really know fully, not someone you admire from afar. Love is not lust - love involves really wanting to care for and help someone, not just admiring their body and wanting to touch them. If you love someone, you are content just sitting with them for the afternoon, not being "seen", not touching each other, but just spending time together. If you love someone, then you trust them fully. You readily share all your hopes, dreams and fears, and you are not "afraid" of talking about any topic with them.